HOW TO RAISE A GENTLEMAN IN A WORLD OF FEMINISM

We live in a world now where girl power and strength is encouraged and celebrated. Women and men are created equal, and one should not have more opportunities then the other. Personally I think this is good, but can be a little overbearing at times. Even though I want to raise my daughter to be a strong and independent individual, I also want to implement and encourage the moral and social code of a true gentlemen for my son.

I have one boy (8) and one girl (7), and I love them both the same. We are supposed to raise and guide our children and prepare them for adulthood, help find their place in the world, and implement morals & values to pass on for their future families. Do not allow Social Media, school teachers, and other outlets raise your kids for you, you will only be disappointed.

With Christian being the first boy in the family, this is a whole new world and learning experience for me. I know one day he will be a husband and father, and it is my job to prepare him for that. Of course we all want our sons to be perfect gentlemen at all times, and being a mom is not easy, but being consistent and a good role model will help a long the way. Unfortunately, gentlemen are starting to become dying breed, but there are ways to change this without compromising his personality. Keep in mind, I am not an expert, these are my opinions alone.

 

 

ANYTHING WORTH HAVING IS WORTH WORKING HARD FOR – Teaching him at a young age that you do not get handed anything in life, will reduce the false expectations of what he will be facing when he is an adult. Nothing is handed to you. Hard work and dedication is the only way for success. Let him earn the right to have the toys, games, etc. This can also relate to non-material things as well like time, love, and having healthy relationships.

BE GENUINELY HELPFUL – Teach him to use social skills to make friends, include friends, and bring people together. Always have him protect and help the younger and weaker. Know the difference between helping others in need and enabling someone who won’t help themselves.

RESPECTS HIS OWN AND OTHERS BELIEFS  There is a certain way to be strong in your beliefs as well as being respectful of others. Having him learn that no two people will have the same beliefs, morals, and values, and that is okay. No two minds are alike, and that is what makes this world we live in so interesting. For an example: If I teach my son to share, but another child doesn’t share, it is okay. Sharing is a choice only enforced by those who believe it’s the right thing to do. I will never force another child to share with mine, or talk down to them. Our children are always watching us and our character. Instead teach him patience, you cannot control others and their actions, only your own.

JUDGE NO ONE – Judging does not define who the other person is, only who he is.

BE CONFIDENT – Raising a son with confidence will decrease self-doubt. Let him try and do tasks on his own. Allow him to make mistakes, keep trying, and succeed. Working through these trials and errors will further boost his self esteem. Helping with chores around the house, bringing his plate to the sink after dinner, and bringing groceries inside are all reasons to praise him to boost his confidence and self esteem.

 

 

SAY WHAT YOU FEEL, AND DO WHAT YOU SAY – Teach him to think before he speaks, and to be confident in what he is saying. Words are just as powerful as actions! Being able to communicate his feelings effectively will help his relationships with others. Be honest, firm, and to the point. Don’t allow others be able to mis-interpret, read between the lines, or keep them guessing, especially with the ladies.

HE IS AN EQUAL – Remind him that he is not better then the next person. He doesn’t deserve more, and is not entitled to greater things. You may disagree with me on this one, but I stay firm. Once the idea kicks in that one CAN be better than the other, they will start comparing themselves to everyone, even their siblings. I am a Christian, we are all God’s children.

KEEP THE OLD-SCHOOL WAYS WITH THE LADIES – Most girls are more than capable of paying for their own dinner, opening their own doors, pulling out their chair, and taking care of themselves. However, continuing to offer these actions shows respect, courtesy, and chivalry. These simple gestures are not only for girls he is trying to impress, but all women. Without the moral code we have in place, he would not be able to socially communicate his character and respect for people.

BE OPEN MINDED AND RELATABLE – When there are arguments and disagreements, and their will be, teach him to put himself in other peoples shoes. Learning to see the situation in a different point of view can be hard, but start to ask these questions: How would you feel if _____? How do you think they feel? What if this happened to you?  etc. It is important for him to learn and comb through the different emotions that he and the other person are facing.

SIR/MA’AM/PLEASE/THANK YOU – These are basic mannerisms that everyone (not just children) should be doing in my opinion. It is the simplest form of showing respect and common courtesy.

MAKE EYE CONTACT – Eye contact ensures that you have his undivided attention. It shows that he is confident in what he is saying and focused on what you are saying. Those who make eye contact also show that they are more personable, honest, sincere, and trustworthy.

SPEAK WHEN YOU ARE SPOKEN TO  This one speaks for itself (no pun intended). My biggest pet peeve is repeating myself, I hate to repeat myself or be ignored, and I am sure I am not the only one. It is always polite to acknowledge and respond when someone is speaking. whether it be friends, siblings, the elder, and the younger, it doesn’t matter. If he is unsure of how to answer or communicate, that is okay, give him time and be patient.

 

 

xox,

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5 Comments

  1. What a great article! I love everything you said! We do a lot of these things, it’s cool to meet with my sons teachers and other coaches and they tell us how sweet and kind our boy is. I’m going to share this, thank you for the great read!

  2. Loved this! I have a little boy and it’s overwhelming to think of all that I am responsible muscle to teach him.